Tuesday, October 30, 2007


"FaithFullOne" posed this question to "The Sisters":
The majority of Black women who choose Interracial Relationships are not doing so as an affront to Black Men. Why then do many black men take it so personally?

"Flower Child in Brooklyn” said:

I think BM take it personally because they see us as their only true and remaining supporters, despite the fact that some make it abundantly clear that our support is neither wanted nor appreciated. BM are often raised by single moms who treat them as "little kings"; this fosters a sense of entitlement that they can have any/every thing they want from BW. I think it is with a sense of disdain and surprise to find that the women they count on to feed them and carry their egos are not waiting around for them to lose the royal attitude that they should be served and waited on. They compete with WM for everything they consider to be of material value and now they see they have to compete emotionally and physically as well for the attention of BW who choose to look elsewhere for companionship. When BM cross the line, they often do so for perceived status or to get away from what they believe is the BW's negativity and lack of supportiveness. I don't know of any BW who gets angry with a BM who fancies a WW based on simple attraction; the problem becomes when they act like WW are somehow better than BW. Yet, they don't want us to behave as though we feel any WM is better than they are ! BM are now faced with the fact that WW are discovering some of the same things that we always knew about them -- and they're finding in many cases that it's too late to come home, because some of us won't open the door. The ones who take it personally do so only because they feel they have a right to something that was never offered to them: Our undying loyalty even in the face of no reciprocity.

"Sezblakgirl" added:

When thinking of the black man and their reaction to the possible missed opportunity at a fine "dime piece" the first emotion would be confusion due to PRIDE. It would be better to see a naked alien roaming the country side, then to see a black female which they feel rightly belongs to them taken away from the black blood line. Being internally racist is completely different then seeing what you want and don't have up close and personal. Secondly, it's the black man's "balls" the strength and weight of his balls, the belief that the "black balls" are massive in size. To be a great black man, the women you keep shows just how much balls your package holds. Then here we come smiling and grinning and shit with men the colors of ivory and butter but not chocolate, with looks on our faces as if we have "invisible happy butterflies" floating around our heads. However, to a good black man who wants the soft, free flowing, and supple brown figure that is a great black jewel, rest assured that anger will come for some. The site of the supposed "white devil" wrapped around fine gold jewelry is overwhelming at an eye’s flash: A flash of a lost possible mother to their children, a grandmother to tell them beautiful stories of you two together forever. When it comes to hatred it runs deeper than we all know, it comes from past relationships, childhood, or even that last blow job that went wrong from some cheating black bitch, where all signs pointed to love, until they saw you. So I don't believe that it is the black man's fear, hate or caring really that causes the reactions given or comments made. We are all good people with every potential to be evil and do and say stupid things and give ignorant comments due to pain, jealousy or hell even boredom. So why do some black men dislike interracial relationships between black women and other men? My simple answer is LOSS.

The "Night Nurse" further commented that:

Historically, black men had to deal with the abuse of black women by white men during slavery. Add that to the fact that black people have had to scratch and claw their way for everything like jobs, education and good places to live where white men have called the shots. The white man is seen as the "oppressor" in the eyes of black men. White men have promoted themselves as mentally superior to black men, while over time black men have been portrayed as physically and sexually superior, with bigger penises. So when black women date white men, it is never believed that we're settling for someone who is dumber or has less money or less education. In fact, some black men call us "gold diggers" because of their own perceptions of white men having more money. By and large, the flak that I think most black women get is because black men can't comprehend that a white man can sexually satisfy a black woman better than he can. It nauseates him to think we could have sexual preferences for white men. It is so much about CONTROL. Many men have a part of them that wants to control a woman and black men don't like the idea that they are losing "control" over women who they think are inherently theirs.

Finally "Special K" had this to say:

I think that one of the reasons that black men take black women dating interracially so hard is that they feel that they are "entitled" to us, they feel as if we “belong” to them. Many black men feel that the white man has everything else, but they have never had black women go willingly to them.
Black women are like toys to black men: “I'll play with you and when I am tired of you I'll toss you in the bin with my other used up toys. “ Then, when some one else wants the toy
that they haven't given a second thought to, their inner 2 year old comes out – “Mine, mine, mine !” They don't really want it, but they’ll be damned if their going to give it up to anyone else who does. Too few Black women have demanded that we not be treated as “toys”.
We sisters should show a sense of entitlement to ourselves. We belong to US-not any one else.
Not the black community , not to the black man, but to ourselves.
Just because a man happens to share the same skin color as you does not mean that he is entitled to your loyalty, your spirit, your strength, your beauty, your feistiness, your life.